Britain Slinks Its Way Out of the EU With its Tail Between its Legs

After 47 years of membership, Britain has left the European Union and you would have thought that the infamous moment would be marked by widespread celebration.  That turned out to be a misconception, as the majority of British actually favored staying in the EU.  A conservative/Tory minority stoked racism and fear of immigration and cynically orchestrated a sophisticated social media campaign to eke out a narrow victory in the 2016 Brexit referendum.  It was this same group of jingoistic politicians who, leading up to the day of Brexit, tried and failed to put a positive spin on Brexit.  

It turned out that, despite the best efforts of some of the most wild-eyed foot-soldiers of the Brexit campaign, the dark moment in British history was marked by confusion and regret, and passed without any great fanfare.

There were attempts to create a national moment—but they ended up failing flat.  Take Nigel Farage’s exit from the European Parliament earlier in the week-- which was a moment he dreamed about his entire political career.  His grand gesture was to make a speech while his Brexit Party colleagues waved tiny plastic Union flags around him.  When the moment finally came, the European parliament’s speaker simply cut off his microphone, leaving him voiceless-- a perfect metaphor for Britain’s future in Europe.

A day later, in his continuing quest to give Brexit some form of gravitas, the modest Farage attended the unveiling of a portrait of himself which was entitled “Mr. Brexit.” The unveiling was hosted by former game-show host Jim Davidson, who hasn’t been allowed to appear on mainstream television for decades due to his propensity for making offensive jokes about women, ethnic minorities, and disabled people.

The official government-backed attempts to mark Brexit have also fallen similarly flat.  A commemorative 50 pence coin was minted with the slogan,  “Peace, prosperity and friendship with all nations.”  Ironically, the phrase was depicted using European punctuation-- without a second comma as required by Oxford English.

Philip Pullman, the author of His Dark Materials, called for a boycott of the coin for failing to include an Oxford comma, while others said they would refuse to accept it in their change or deface it with pro-EU messages.  If this was the government’s big gesture to bring the bitterly divided country back together, it would have been just as effective to throw an existing 50p coin into a wishing well.

There was also an extremely embarrassing campaign (announced and then disowned by Prime Minister Boris Johnson) to raise public funds to temporarily restore Big Ben so that the bell could be rung at the moment of Brexit.  More than £250,000 was raised, but that was only half of what was needed to get the bell working by the Friday deadline, so the idea was sheepishly abandoned.

There was also an attempt to organize a fireworks display in St. James Park-- but that was scratched when the necessary permits were denied.   A Royal Parks spokesperson released a statement saying: "We do not allow firework displays in St James's Park because of the impact on nesting birds and other wildlife".   High-profile Brexiteer Richard Tice called for "anybody who has got a roof terrace in the close vicinity of Parliament Square" to get in touch so that they could "set off 20 rockets" to enable a "wow factor".  No fireworks, no music, no alcohol-- doesn't sound like much of a party to me.

Several days before the event, Boris Johnson scrapped plans for a live address to the nation, in fear of low attendance and hecklers.  Instead, Johnson opted for a prerecorded video message to mark Britain’s departure.  Johnson’s press team broke with usual procedures by refusing to allow independent media outlets to film or photograph the statement.

The Associated Press and several other major news outlets declined to air the government-provided video. The BBC and commercial rival ITN declined to air any video of the address. Sky News and other organizations ran short clips. News agencies including Reuters and AFP also decided against using the footage.

Furthering his embarrassment and chagrin, Johnson refused to answer any reporters’ questions about Brexit during two Friday public events, as Britain neared the 11 p.m. split

In Europe, journalists were excluded from a major ceremonial event to mark the occasion. No media organizations were present when the Brexit divorce agreement was formally signed.  Instead, European Council President Charles Michel tweeted photos of the overnight signing instead.  What a party pooper!

On Saturday, Britain woke up, for the first time in nearly five decades, outside a European group of nations. Once the people responsible for Brexit stop congratulating themselves, the actual work begins to prove that leaving the EU was something worth celebrating. 

(Incidentally, if you’re wondering why Britain left the EU at 11 p.m. local time rather than midnight-- it's because the EU chose to rub Britain's nose in the dirt one final time.  The EU insisted that the agreement become official at midnight in Brussels (the de facto capital of the EU) showing yet again that the EU is calling the shots on these kind of things now.