Berlusconi Bashing

Bawdy Berlusconi sweats it out

Sex columnist Dan Savage (and editor of the Seattle newsweekly "The Stranger") has written a hilarious send-up of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi which is now posted on Foreign Policy's website. In the piece ("Confessions of a Sexaholic"),  an anonymous philanderer ("Confused Italian Approaching Obsolescence") tells of his numerous problems-- pesky federal investigators, an ungracious ex-wife,  talkative ex-lovers and young women who are trying to extort money from him to keep their shenanigans on the down low.  Jealous of his powerful friends and wondering whether the teachings from his Catholic upbringing were in fact correct, the writer is concerned that he has lost his "magic touch",  and pens a letter to "Savage Love" asking for advice.   Some choice pearls of wisdom from Savage:

Many social conservatives believe that being gay is a choice. If they're correct, CIAO, and the ladies disappear -- or if you should ever find yourself in a place where there are no ladies (pirate ship, Vatican City, Italian federal prison) -- you will have options.

. . .

Henry Kissinger famously observed that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I'm shocked that a man in your position -- you built your own media company, you have the world's seventh-largest GDP at your disposal -- has to pay for it. Bill Clinton and François Mitterrand managed to attract "extracurricular women" without having to pay-for-play. Either you're living in a place where there are no women aroused by power (Vatican City?), or you're not nearly as powerful as you think you are (seventh largest? You sure?).

. . .

Your luck, like your wife, stuck around for a long time, CIAO, and things might have stayed as they were, if you hadn't come to see your good fortune as the natural state of things. Once a man does that, CIAO, he can begin to take his luck for granted and to presume upon it. And we all know what happens to men who get overconfident: They get sloppy, they get caught, they get indicted, and sometimes they wind up getting sent places where there are no ladies.