Republican National Convention Wrap-Up

In the week leading up to the expected campaign speech re-hash from the ear-bandaged Orange Man, there was a pathetic, protracted prologue from an assortment of other losers up in Milwaukee:

JD Vance gave a really boring acceptance speech, where he didn't talk about his radical position on abortion, or his equally radical desire to end no-fault divorce.

Kellyanne Conway didn't talk about abortion either-- even though earlier this year, she was urging Republicans to “own” their draconian abortion stances. 

Former senior Trump adviser Peter Navarro was released from prison on Wednesday—and headed straight for the stage of the Republican National Convention.  After making a hack prison tattoo joke, Navarro played the persecution card, crying that if he and former Trump adviser and fellow convicted criminal Steve Bannon can end up in prison for breaking the law, so can anyone who breaks the law.  For all of their “law and order” talknRepublicans sure do love their criminals.

Tech bro and Stalin wannabe Vivek Ramaswamy told America that in the face of all evidence to the contrary, the Republican Party loves Black and Latino Americans.  

We also saw the world's most humiliated man, Sen. Ted Cruz, who once called Trump a “sniveling coward” for attacking his wife and father.  Cruz told an entirely fabricated story of how America is “facing a literal invasion on our southern border, claiming that 11.5 million people have crossed our border illegally under Joe Biden.” It isn’t true, but whatevs. Kiss that ring, Lyin’ Ted! 

Nikki Haley refrained from calling Trump “unstable and unhinged,” to receive a mixed reception from the RNC audience. She then bent the knee to the man who called her “BRAINDEAD” and “BIRDBRAIN,” and endorsed him. Always on brand, Trump didn’t even deem to clap. 

Ben Carson took time away from whining about people trying to cancel Dr. Seuss stories to expound upon how great a second Trump presidency would be.  Florida. Sen. “Little Marco” Rubio and Gov. “Ron DeSanctimonious” gave speeches in support of the Orange Man. Rubio, best known for justifiably calling Trump a “con artist,” did his best to genuflect to Trump, by whitewashing the racist origins of Trump’s “America First” campaigns.

DeSantis put on his best boots and showed the lack of charisma that led to his untimely exit from the Republican primary. Gone from his speech was the admission that Trump actually lost the 2020 election.   At one point DeSantis told the convention audience that the GOP supports “law and order, not rioting and disorder.” Anyone ever heard of what happened on Jan. 6, 2021? 

South Dakota puppy killer Gov. Kristi Noem took time away from defending her state’s abortion ban to reminded people that her big claim to fame (before becoming the 21t century’s Cruella de Vill) was how poorly she managed her state's response to the COVID-19 pandemic. “Most of you probably first heard about me during Covid,” Noem said, “because South Dakota was the only state in the country that stayed open for business. We didn't mandate anything. We never ordered a single business or a church to close.”  It was allowing superspreader events like the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally that led to South Dakota’s horrific COVID rates.

Republican Sen. Tim Scott put on a brave face after being rejected by Donald Trump for the vice presidential slot, assuring the delegates that there is no racism in America. “This is going to offend the liberal elites. Every time I say it, it offends them,” Scott promised. “But let me say it one more time. America is not a racist country! No, we're not.”   But not really.  “If you are looking for racism today, you'd find it in cities run by Democrats," he later said.  Got it. So there’s no racism, except the racism that does exist. 

Even the buff bimbo barbie made an appearance.  Marjorie Taylor Green performed a recital of GOP talking points that included anti-trans rhetoric, immigration fear-mongering, and just a taste of whining about sending aide to Ukraine  She ended by saying one true thing—at least for the people at the very top who benefited from Trump’s tax cuts for the rich, and the billionaires he has promised to serve if elected again.  “Donald Trump will make us wealthy again,” Greene said. The only question is who the “us” is, because it certainly isn’t regular Americans.