A Letter From Dick Cheney

Dear Readers:

I was a huge war hawk, happily sending other people's kids to war, but I "had other priorities in the '60s than military service" and got five deferments.

Saddam Hussein was a friend before he was an enemy.

I happily did business with Iran, Libya and Iraq as CEO of Halliburton.

I held secret White House meetings with oil companies to expand their influence and profitability, and suppressed information about the health effects of global warming.

As a Congressman I opposed the Department of Education and economic sanctions against South Africa's apartheid government.

I started a trillion-dollar war based on cherry-picked intelligence and outright lies, including "There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt that he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies, and against us."

I said that "There's overwhelming evidence that there was a connection between Al Qaeda and the Iraqi government."

I insisted that the war would be over in less than six months.

I warned in late 2004 that if John Kerry won the election, "…we'll get hit again, and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating."

I supported the torture of human beings. I still do.

I stayed on vacation for days after hurricane Katrina hit.

I had no objection to tossing the writ of habeas corpus into the garbage disposal.

I couldn't find Osama bin Laden

I responded to the American people's concern about the Iraq war with: "So?"

I drank a beer and then shot a lawyer friend in the face because I wasn't following proper gun safety rules. I never apologized.

I told the FISA court to go fuck itself---we can spy on Americans without a warrant anytime we feel like it.

I left office with a 13 percent approval rating, for which you can all go fuck yourselves, too.

Now buy my book, suckers!

(Courtesy of the Daily Kos)