Duck Schmuck Chucked After Yuks Suck

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried tweeted a series of lame jokes about the tragic Japanese earthquake and tsunami over the weekend-- and instead of drawing laughs, it cost him his job. The longtime voice of the iconic Aflac Duck, Gottfried was fired today by the multinational insurance company. A sampling of Gottfried's offending remarks:

"I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, "There'll be another one floating by any minute now."

"I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said, "Is there a school in this area?" She said "not now, but just wait."

What do Japanese jews like to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

I asked a girl in Japan to have sex with me. She said, "Okay-- but you'll have to sleep in the wet spot."

What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.

My book was just released in Japan.  It's making quite a splash.

I fucked a girl in Japan. She screamed, "I feel the earth move and I'm getting wet."

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach-- the beach comes to them."

Japan just called me. They said, "Maybe those jokes are a hit in the U.S.-- but over here, they're all sinking."

"Gilbert's recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac," the company, which does 75% of its business in Japan, said in a statement. "There is no place for anything but compassion and concern during these difficult times."