An 8th grader was suspended for 5 days for hugging a classmate. No details yet for you'll get for kissing, copping a feel, or getting inside your date's pants.
A couple of important elections are coming up this weekend. Democracy's down for the count in Russia; there may be hope for Venezuela.
Al Gore got his long overdue trip to the White House. George Bush does his part for global warming by giving Al Gore a chilly reception in the Oval Office. Smiling never looked like it hurt so much.
Darth Cheney experienced an irregular heartbeat this week. Not irregular enough for some folks.
Trent Lott announced his resignation from the Senate. In case you don't remember, Lott was the guy who said that if Strom Thurmond (that good 'ole segregationist) had been elected president (in 1948), "we wouldn’t have had all these problems over the years."
Puerto Rico's Miss Universe pageant was peppered with controversy this week when it was discovered that the winner's evening gown had been doctored with pepper spray. I guess you could say that she's one hot mama.
In an interview with Time this week, horror writer Stephen King said that Jenna Bush should be waterboarded, that Britany Spears was nothing more than trailer trash, and that the celebrity with the largest impact on American life this year was Hannah Montana. I'm not sure what smart-ass thing to say about all that.
A British teacher faces 15 days in jail for allowing one of her children to name a teddy bear "Mohammed", and thousands of Islamic fanatics wielding knives demand that she be executed instead. Britain's foreign minister does his best George Bush imitation saying he is "extremely disappointed".
At The Movies: Nothing especially high-profile or particularly noteworthy opening this weekend. Use the time to catch up on "No Country For Old Men", "American Gangster" or "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead" before the Oscar rush starts in earnest.
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