Arizona Stupidity University

Arizona State University (site of one of the NCAA's largest point-shaving scandals, and the proud alma mater of steroid-user Barry Bonds) has ignited controversy and embarrassed itself by refusing to grant President Obama an honorary degree when he speaks at its May 13 commencement ceremony. University officials were caught completely off-guard by the near-universal reaction of incredulity at the decision, refusing to comment further and referring all reporters to a prepared statement, which said in part:

"His body of work is yet to come. That's why we're not recognizing him with a degree at the beginning of his presidency."

I guess being a U.S. Senator, a law school professor, a two-time best-selling author-- as well as being the leader of the free world-- is not accomplishment enough for these pin-headed Sun Devil morons. On MSNBC, former CEO Jack Welch said, "This is the university that grants a Masters degree in lawn-mowing, right?"

Barry Goldwater was awarded an honorary ASU degree before he was even nominated for the presidency. Sandra Day O'Conner was given an honorary degree only three years into her 25-year Supreme Court appointment. William P. Carey was awarded a degree for establishing a New York-based real estate investment-banking firm-- the fact that he donated $50 million to the school five years later didn't have anything to do with it, I suppose. Wu Qidi, the vice minister of education of the People's Republic of China, was given an honorary degree at ASU in May 2006-- we all remember his body of work, right? Rex G. Maughan, founder and president of Forever Living Products and Terry Labs, was honored in 2002-- another memorable "body of work".