DNA Stands For "Do Not Acquire"

Police officers in Daytona Beach are swabbing the mouths of male drivers during traffic stops with special DNA kits in the hunt for an elusive serial killer, according to a local news source. Police chief Mike Chitwood said that his officers obtain consent before collecting the samples. The DNA kits are also being used to collect samples from suspects rounded up in prostitution stings, in which case they obtain warrants before collecting DNA from suspects in custody.

Investigators said they believe the same man has killed four women execution style in the Daytona Beach area, and are in possession of the killer's DNA. Daytona police chief Mike Chitwood said, "Sooner or later, we will match the DNA to the physical person and bring closure to everything that is going on."

The ACLU is investigating the Daytona police chief's tactics, saying that it is getting complains. All collected DNA samples are sent to a federal database, which the ACLU also claims is a violation of a person's rights.

This intrusion of individual civil liberties is also gaining foothold in England, as police there announced last August that they are seeking powers to take DNA samples from suspects on the streets and for non-imprisonable offenses such as speeding and dropping litter.

Boneheads in Denver are also pushing for legislation to seize DNA from anybody even arrested for felony-- despite the lack of specifics on what would happen to the DNA samples in a case in which someone is arrested for a felony but not convicted.

If any of this doesn't already scare you, remember-- all it takes is one testosterone-jacked pinhead with a GED to arrest you on a suspected felony. Before any of it would be sorted out by level-headed authorities, your DNA profile will have sped its way to the Feds, where it would sit like a time-bomb ready to wreak damage to you for the rest of your life.

Next thing you know, your DNA will be used by the state or the Feds to collar your relatives for suspected crimes. After that, your DNA will be subject to subpoena in any future civil litigation you're involved with. If you find yourself in a divorce or custody hearing, your DNA will almost certainly be used against you. At some point, HMO's and insurance companies will get access to your DNA and use it to deny health coverage or avoid paying claims in some way (remember that old standby, "pre-existing condition"-- anything you're born with in your DNA could be construed to be a "pre-existing condition").