Petulant Celebrities Bite Back

SNL comedian Michael Che recently went on an Instagram tear about an Uproxx writer who wrote a piece about Che’s colleague Colin Jost, suggesting that the critic, Steve Hyden, was giving out blow jobs to dogs. (Che, surprising no one, has already begun lashing out at critics writing about his response to that criticism.)

Last week, the musician Lizzo, whose new album is otherwise getting great reviews, got bent out of shape about one Pitchfork review by Rawiya Kameir that perhaps wasn’t as glowing as the artist had hoped. Lizzo complained on Twitter, saying “PEOPLE WHO ‘REVIEW’ ALBUMS AND DONT MAKE MUSIC THEMSELVES SHOULD BE UNEMPLOYED.” (She later walked back the comment.)

A couple days later, Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber got mad that Morgan Stewart — an E! host best known for her starring role on Rich Kids of Beverly Hills and absolutely nothing else — made fun of their Coachella performance. “One day everybody that works at all them blogs will realize how unfulfilled they are and purposeless what they’re doing is,” Grande wrote in a tweet that she later deleted.

And the next episode of Game of Outrage is courtesy of Olivia Munn, who posted a mini essay on Twitter comparing blog posts about her fashion choices written by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan — the writers who run a celebrity fashion criticism blog called Go Fug Yourself — with the abuses of #MeToo.

Why celebrities think the bloggers are masters of the cultural narrative is beyond me. “Lol ill never understand why when they shit on people its criticism. but when i shit on them its harassment..?” Che wrote in an Instagram story — and many of his peers seem to share the same confusion. But most of the celebrities in question have platforms and social media followings that are orders of magnitude larger than those of the people who write about them.

Rapper Nicki Minaj inexplicably punched downward when she DM’d Toronto writer Wanna Thompson on Twitter because she didn’t like her criticism of her music, calling her ugly and jealous, much like what you’d typically tell someone in the seventh grade if you wanted to make them cry in the middle of the cafeteria. But then Minaj’s fandom descended on Thompson too, calling her an “unemployed dark skin black guttersnipe bitch.” Thompson is an independent blogger, far from a famous writer and not affiliated with a major media brand. What power did she have that Minaj felt like she needed to rebalance in the world?  

Anne Helen Petersen wrote about Armie Hammer's career last year, and he replied to her on Twitter, saying her perspective was “bitter AF.” He deactivated his Twitter account shortly after, which caused a deluge of Call Me by Your Name stans to go after Petersen online, with one person going so far as to threaten to kill her dog. Months later, Hammer tweeted at Petersen again about her opinion of a Jennifer Lawrence Vanity Fair profile, suggesting that she should be medicated. Armie Hammer is 32 years old.

Writer Shannon Keating  wrote an essay in 2016 about the societal pressure on LGBT pop stars like Halsey to downplay their queerness, which Halsey seemed to interpret as a suggestion that she was “not gay enough,” resulting in a predictable Twitter hell as the star’s fans piled on.

Celebrities need to get a clue and realize that bloggers are part of the new media and get a grip on their egos-- one bad review doesn't bring down the house.