Saturday, June 9, 2007

Deflector Shields For Farts


According to the American College of Gastroenterology, 58 million Americans suffer from one or more medical disorders that cause excessive gas. To treat it, doctors usually recommend a change in diet. Sometimes they recommend medication-- such as Gas-X or Bean-O, which alters the bacteria that may be causing the foul odor. But with a new invention from 48-year-old Brian Conant-- the Flatulence Deodorizer (also known as "Flat-D")-- there is an alternative way to limit the embarrassment.

It all began eight years go, when Brian Conant was standing alongside his fellow National Guardsmen during a training session in Hawaii. On that fateful day, Conant was cutting the cheese like nobody's business. But he was wearing a heavy chemical warfare suit lined with charcoal. "Any time I expelled gas in the suit, I suddenly realized nobody could smell it," Conant says. "It was amazing."

Many long hours of hard work later, Conant now has the Flat D hitting the market. The long, narrow washable pad, lined thinly with charcoal, absorbs chemicals, including hydrogen sulfide, a byproduct of the bacteria that causes odorous gas. The pad, at $12.95, curves with the contour of the body, and one size fits most.

For those who fall outside the "most" category, Conant has developed the "overpad," due to the increasing number of phone calls from obese patients who have just undergone gastric bypass surgery. According to Conant's marketing director, Frank Morosky, January is their hottest-selling month. Why? According to Morosky, "[In] January, people [make] New Year's resolutions to eat healthier. And, it turns out, healthy foods like broccoli, beans and whole grains cause gas."

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