Thursday, September 6, 2007

Just For Men Of Terror

From the Middle East comes breaking news that Osama bin Laden will appear in the coming days in new video in what would be the first images of al-Qaeda's Director of Dread in nearly three years.

Analysts noted that al-Qaeda tends to mark the Sept. 11 anniversary with a slew of messages, and the Department of Homeland Security said it had no credible information warning of an imminent threat to the United States.

Still, bin Laden's appearance would be significant. Al-Qaeda's Head of Horror has not appeared in new video footage since October 2004, and he has not put out a new audiotape in more than a year, his longest period without a message.

One difference in his appearance was immediately obvious. The announcement had a still photo from the coming video, showing the Prime Minister of Panic with his beard fully black. In his past videos, bin Laden's beard was almost entirely gray with dark streaks. There was no apparent explanation for the mysterious change in beard color.

Extensive analysis of the still photograph, in conjunction with newly obtained CIA intelligence, have led Middle East analysts in the Bush administration to conclude that the First Man of Fear's beard has been dyed, a popular practice among Arab leaders.

IntelCenter, which monitors Islamic Web sites and analyzes terror threats, said the video was expected within the next 72 hours-- in conjunction with the sixth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, or perhaps to coincide with opening weekend NFL broadcasts-- it's too soon to tell.

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